How to feel good about yourself

Anyone who has been to high school knows that it can be so easy to compare yourself to the next person. Sometimes it may not be a conscious thought but a subtle belief that creeps in and makes you second guess yourself. You start to think that maybe you don’t have what it takes to get good grades. Or you’re not talented enough to make it to the football team. Believe it or not, as you get older you may find yourself succumbing to similar thoughts of self-defeat; over time you find yourself with a lingering sadness that you find hard to explain. The truth is everyone feels that way every now and again. It’s hard to appreciate yourself in a world telling you how you should look, think and act. Developing the ability to appreciate your own unique strengths in this world is one of the greatest attributes you can develop as an adult and more importantly as an individual.

When you find yourself feeling low the first thing to remember is that you are not alone. It’s so easy to start thinking that you’re not as good as your peers so you start to isolate yourself. You stop answering your phone, you say no when people invite you out, you come straight home after work and engage in few activities. While it can be hard to do at first, taking the time to be around your friends can be a great way to life you spirits. Hanging out with friends is a great way to remind yourself of all the great things you have to offer. After all your friends LIKE you, they LOVE spending time with you because of the person you are. Maybe they like your jokes, or they like your weird personality or they love drinking with you. Whatever the reason they are there because they enjoy you as an individual and they wouldn’t change that for the world, and neither should you.

One of the best ways to get over those bad days is to engage in a group activity. It could be something simple, like a running club at work, or a church choir or maybe a volunteer group. Getting involved in a group activity helps shift your focus away from yourself and onto the team goal. Let’s say for instance you choir is preparing for their annual church concert, working with others to build a team goal takes a lot of shared effort. It requires you to be a part of the team and work on things that push the team to reach its overall goals and in the process are reminded of the skills you have to offer. Taking the time to think of an activity that has a higher purpose forces you to shift your mindset and helps you to put things in perspective. It can also leave you with a greater sense of purpose and meaning which maybe change the way you think about your life going forward. Therefore the next time you find yourself in a rut, look for an opportunity to build, create or give to someone else, you may find that you get so much more in return.

When you are in a low place in life it may often times be a result of a specific need that you have in your life. Maybe you are unsatisfied with your self-image, or your financial state. Spend the time to think through what specific issues may be causing you to not feel good about yourself. This process can be challenging and difficult because it forces you to confront the real issues at play. However once you have reached the core problem, resolve to take a small step each day to work on our goal. It could be that you feel stuck in a job that makes you unhappy. Take the time to pinpoint what exactly is making you unhappy. Is it your boss? Is it the work itself? Is it the persons you work with? Have a sense of clarity as to what exactly is causing your unhappiness. Once you do, ask yourself can you change the situation? If not then you need to change your thoughts about the situation. At any given point in your life you do have CHOICES. 

Once you realize that you have the power to overcome your circumstances, you feel a sense of peace in knowing that things will be ok. A life without obstacles is not a story worth telling, don’t dwell on the obstacles but focus on your journey. There is a purpose to your life and a reason for your being here, so don’t get stuck being miserable about winter, its only one season of your wonderful life.